Yes, that unfortunate looking child in the picture is me. I sacrificed my dignity for the sake of my blog.
I was scrolling through Facebook the other day and came across an article called “Honestly, Daddy-Daughter Dates Are Anything But Innocent”, and I had to read it because I thought, this can’t be a serious article. Unfortunately it was and the writer referred to daddy-daughter dates as “creepy” and even said they sounded like a “porno”. I shared with my friends and the response was equal to mine. I understand that everyone is different and am thankful that I live in a country where I can share my opinion, even if it opposes another. So thats exactly what I’m going to do.
Growing up, I was lucky enough to have a father, two grandfathers, and even two great-grandfathers in my life. All of them were and still are prime examples of what men should be and always taught me the way I should be treated by a man. One of my fondest memories of my childhood were the “dates” that I went on with my father and my grandfather.
I attribute a lot of my expectations and relationship standards to my dad. I can’t count the amout of trips, concerts, ice cream runs, and our favorite the “lets go to TJMaxx and shop” dates, I have been on with my dad just the two of us. He would open the door for me and spend quality time with me, having meaningful conversations that taught me what to expect when I started dating.
One quote from the article that really stood out to me was this,
“Daddy-daughter dates don’t help girls learn what to expect from men. They teach them that men are superior, and they need to obey them; they try to mold girls into submissive, passive women. They’re one more tool of the patriarchy, one more way to hold girls back, but this time with a creepy sexual edge. If I had a daughter, I wouldn’t send her on dates with my husband.”
Honestly, the only way that anyone would feel this way is if they already have a victim mentality and enjoy feeling oppressed.
My dad has always taught me I could do anything. He took me to all types of sporting events, camping, NASCAR races, fishing and hunting, and anything else that you would typically imagine “for guys only”. This not only made me feel like I could do anything, it made me grow up feeling equal to men but also having respect that even though I can open my own door and pull out my own chair, most men do this as a courtesy to show respect and I, in turn, should respect the way they were raised.
One of the greatest things I have learned from my dad is self-respect, independence, and love. As many times as he told my mom how beautiful she looked today, he also told me. As often as he told my mom he loved her, he also told me. He taught me how to do things on my own, like how to change my car tires, how to cut grass, how to shoot and clean a gun, anything that is typically a “man’s job” and a lot of our “dates” were centered around teaching me how to be independent and how to provide for myself.
One of the greatest things he ever told me was “Kaitlyn, I don’t want you to ever NEED a man in your life. I want you to be able to provide for yourself so that when you find a man you love, you won’t need him to take care of you but you will respect him when he wants to.”
Now that I am grown up and have been through many relationships, I realize how important these daddy-daughter dates were in determining who I would spend the rest of my life with. Now I am dating a man who does everything my dad did for me on our dates. I never open my own door, I never have to do any dirty work, and I am treated respectfully, not because he thinks I can’t do it on my own, but because he knows I can but doesn’t want me to have to.
So thanks dad, for teaching me what it means to be respected and truly loved. Our daddy-daughter dates will always be one of my fondest memories of us.
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